One day I was walking out of the bank with one of those white envelopes that are the exact size of money. I needed to buy some new capes and a big sword (I get everything I need at the same store – Grapes, Boards, Capes and Swords of Portland, ME – and was even going to spring for a couple of grapes). I continued on my way when i saw this 80′s muscle guy with a powder blue tank top and a bunch of gold chains. He had a bunch of girls with him and they all looked like trouble.
I looked straight ahead when I walked past. I just kept heading in the same direction. The guy called to me but I didn’t pay attention. I felt a rock hit my head. I whirled around and saw one of the girls picking up another, bigger rock. But before she could throw it I took out my new sword and cut her head CLEAN OFF! (Back then I tended to overreact a bit).
Anyway they were mad that I decapitated their friend. They chased me into an old house and then…
***Chase/fight scene continues for nine pages***
And then, just when I thought I was going to get caught, I used the only thing I had left. Luckily someone filmed my genius move and made it into a gif for some reason. You can see if below. I know you were probably scared, but never despair. I’m here.