Dressing animals up on Halloween is an injustice. We should really be dressing them up all year round. If they are too hot in the spring, put them in a bathing suit! You could take all your cats, give them rifles, and make your own Memorial Day Parade. Or War of 1812 re-enactment. The possibilities are limitless.
And has anyone tried to figure out if putting stickers on fish is bad for them? Because it would be really good for me. Putting notes on the fridge is nothing compared to putting notes on a fish who could then swim around in a manner that promotes remembering. “GET MILK” said the fish. Actually, my fish would never say that because I don’t have any kids, don’t care if all my bones break when I’m old, and am too lazy to make cereal so there is never any milk in my house. Well, wait, maybe I would care about my bones. Hmm.
“INVENT BONE MEDICINE BEFORE YOU ARE OLD” is what my fish should say. That would actually be helpful. The odds of me tripping over my cat soldiers and bathing suit dog when I am old are pretty high, so my bones will probably need the help. Poor old people with their brittle bones and bad memories. I bet they wish they were young like me, remembering everything and staying on topic during posts and making perfect sense all the time. Happy Halloween!
Categories: 31 Halloween Activities