Author Archives

I'm a professional lion puncher. Whale hunter hunting is a hobby and some parts of me are metal.

• They’re Not Working for Santa Anymore: 1989’s “Elves”

  By Acadia Einstein on December 10, 2014 • ( 8 )

  

  That hungry fellow above is an elf. The movie he is in is called Elves. And he needs a virgin to mate with so he can start the new master race because he was created by Nazis. Yep. The elf was made… Read More ›

• What Happened to American Horror Story?

  By Acadia Einstein on November 19, 2014 • ( 3 )

  

  When I first heard that this year’s installment of American Horror Story was going to be set in a carnival freak show I was excited and horrified.  What would they do with such a deep, wide and monstrous pot of… Read More ›

• 31 Halloween Activities #31: Summon Satan

  By Acadia Einstein on October 30, 2014 • ( 2 )

  

  If I were Satan, I would just be around all the time.  Why wait for people to come to me?  How hard could it possibly be to convince people to sell their souls?  My boss totally got tricked into giving… Read More ›