If I were Satan, I would just be around all the time. Why wait for people to come to me? How hard could it possibly be to convince people to sell their souls? My boss totally got tricked into giving her email to a fake “trademark application tracking system,” so fooling busy people into eternal damnation should be a piece of cake.
Here is a partial list of things I have said I would sell my soul for at one time or another:
- A sandwich
- Multiple Patriots Super Bowls
- TONS of dirty stuff
- A different sandwich
It’s not like I am very particular but if you have super Satan powers you can probably come up with better remuneration than sandwiches for those picky people who think their souls are stupid valuable.
And if anyone asks me why I need their soul I will just tell them to move along because I honestly have no idea what I want them for. I am already Satan and have demons and stuff so why do I need your crummy soul? Is there some kind of attendance contest between Heaven and Hell?
Anyone with any knowledge on this please feel free to give me a shout. Otherwise, have a Happy Halloween and make sure you make the most of the holiday!
Categories: 31 Halloween Activities