*Acadia is sitting in a fancy leather chair reading a big book. A fire crackles behind him. He looks up.*
“Oh, hi. I didn’t hear you come in. I know you all look to me for cheap jokes about my videos which are themselves filed with cheap jokes. But you know what? I don’t have to just kowtow to your whims. I can change things up.”
*Acadia puts the book on the table and walks to the window and looks out.*
“My jokes needn’t be cheap. They can be expensive. Priceless, even! Like, I’m not sure if you can see it, but there is a fat guy down on the street wearing a hat made out of turkeys. No lie. I’m going to try to get him to look up.”
*Opens window, leans out.*
“Hey! Buddy! Where’d you get that hat? Are those turkeys alive? What do you mean ‘who are you?’ Don’t sass me, chubs. I’ll come down there and take your hat. What are you gonna do? RUN AWAY? C’mere, tubby! AHHH HA HA HA…”
*Leans too far; falls out window*
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH OHHHHH CRAP ALL MY JOKES AAAAAAAAAARE CHEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPP”
Related Posts:
– 31 Scary Things #22: Helplessness
– 31 Scary Things #15: Witches
– 31 Scary Things #6: Being Possessed
Categories: 31 Scary Things, Guest Writers
31 Scary Things #31: Death 
31 Scary Things #30: Pain 
31 Scary Things #29: Serial Killers 
31 Scary Things #28: Satan 
The Year of Halloween 
I don’t know the number but I would add picket fences to the list.
Good call. That would sting.
Nothing more scary than normalcy, in my opinion. And what could be more normal than a white picket fence? Of course, a nice iron-spiked cemetery fence is iconic, too. 🙂