Eva Halloween is a terrible monster. Look at the gifs the picked out for this year. She knows I hate eyeball stuff and she has eyeballs ALL OVER THE PLACE. I should be able to complain to the internet writers union that doesn’t exist. And every time I look at that scene from Misery I think of the time I broke my ankle playing basketball during a free period in high school. So essentially this entire set of images is a carefully honed attack against me.
She thought she would turn the tables on me, seeing as I was too
lazy busy doing important things to gather up a batch of my own. She knows I hate having spiders crawl on my face, and catching on fire, and getting stabbed in the foot. But her plan had a fatal flaw, and his name is Gary.
You can look at that gif for a day and not figure out what’s going on. In fact, I did just that. His name is Gary and he knows that there is a Halloween edition of Wipeout on tonight and he wants to watch it (he loves the big balls). He is not sure what channel it’s on and he doesn’t have cable or a remote control so he needs to check his TV Guide which is on the coffee table. He bends down to get it and just when it is too late he remembers that he stuck his machete into the table pointing up for some reason earlier that day. But that isn’t even the sad part.
See, it obviously isn’t hurting him any. He sort of looks annoyed. But right at the end, that’s the tragic part. See how he looks over to his right? That is him realizing that his glass of Crystal Light pink lemonade is too far away for him to reach. So now he is stuck watching NCIS, but he is thirsty and he has a machete through his head. Worst. Halloween. Ever.
Oh, I also don’t like floating on my back in a pond and having a monster come up and pull me under. You really are mean, Eva. Damn.
Categories: Horror GIF of the Week