I work in Manhattan now. Every morning I walk from Grand Central Station to 14th street and every evening I walk back. I take Park Avenue the whole way.  Pretty boring for the most part. But I will admit that the fact that it is about negative a million degrees makes things a little more interesting. For example, this morning the collar of my jacket froze because I was breathing on it.  But only on the left side. I was wondering what happened to the breath on the right side of my body. Then I realized that I think the old man I helped the night before most likely cursed me.

I was walking up the street like normal, listening to a true crime podcast and I noticed this old man sitting on some steps.  This Google street view shows the exact place (red circle is where the guy was).

I was walking from the right to the left in the picture, and the dude tried to get up and REALLY failed.  Like, he got up maybe an inch and then sat right back down. Being New York, nobody else was helping him, so I took it upon myself to give him a hand. I extended my right arm and he grabbed my gloved hand and I pulled him right up onto his feet.  At that point, I noticed he did NOT look right.  The bottom of his face was all wet.  Shiny wet. And it seems like it should have been ice. Unless whatever the liquid was wasn’t water.  Maybe it was devil juice. Or clear blood.

He looked me in the eye and said something to me.  I had my headphones in.  I don’t know what he said.  Maybe “thank you”?  Maybe “I need to go to the hospital” (he did look wobbly).  Maybe he said, “Nyarghh Fthaann Mog-thoth zgulllll.”  I have no idea because I headphones.  So I gave him a thumbs up and yelled “OKAY?” He said something else, his weirdly shiny chin glistening in the freezing cold as it moved up and down.  I turned back toward GCT and kept walking, feeling good about myself.  I turned back to see if he was still walking and while he had sort of been swallowed by the crowd, I did make sure there wasn’t anyone lying on the ground.

So all in all I did a good thing, but now I am afraid that I did it for a terrible person. I have no proof of this, but I did touch him with my right arm and now apparently breath doesn’t come out of the right side of my body.  If this wet-faced wizard is turning me into a half man/half zombie I will find him and put him back where I found him.

My right shoe feels less tied than my left one.  Jesus, it’s getting worse…

Categories: Acadia Einstein

Tags: Acadia Einstein, New York City, winter