These are the perfect things to combine together as part of the annual Halloween sports competition, The Hallolympics. The Hayride Apple Pick is part of the “motorized” set of events (which also includes “Chainsaw Over-the-Head Waving” and “Trying to Get In and Start a Car That You Know Won’t Start”) and it really captures the spirit of the holiday.
The athletes are given a bucket and nothing else. They stand on a platform being pulled by a tractor and get driven though an apple orchard really fast. When I say the tractor goes really fast, I am talking TOP SPEED. And the old man driving the tractor itself is completely deaf and has terrible depth perception so sometimes people get clipped by branches. And some trees have bats in them. And by “bats” I mean both the flying creatures AND actual people armed with baseball bats. It’s a tough event.
The rules are simple: whoever gets the most apples in their basket wins. If an apple touches the ground it doesn’t count. If the athlete falls off the platform or if anything but their feet touch the platform they have to dump out their basket. If at the beginning there are more people than rows of trees in the orchard, they line everyone up 1/4 mile away from the tractor and and the first people who get themselves onto the platform and into one of the chairs when the music stops gets to be in the event. And it is ok to punch people and kick them in the candy corn.
Tell me you wouldn’t pay to see that.
Categories: 31 Halloween Activities