As I have noted before, the way these cards have come up during the while year has bordered on the spooky (see what i did there?). Looking at carving a pumpkin and going to a cemetery has caused me to rethink my entire yard decorating strategy.
Every year I put out the damn Styrofoam cemetery. You know how they are. Little weird plastic sticks that don’t do anything “holding them up”. Leaning them against rocks and stuff so they don’t look stupid. All of them with dumb dead people inscriptions like:
Here Lies Stu Dent
Died: 2, Young
Bored to death!
Then when that is done it lasts long enough for some six year old to blunder through it and knock everything down while his mother futilely tries to get him to go up the steps. Good times. Then I spend a whole day doing pumpkins with whatever gimmick I have for the year and wait to feel all proud when some 14 year old girl or someone’s parent tells us they think “our decorations are cool”.
But what if I made the graveyard OUT OF PUMPKINS? I mean put the epitaphs on the stones myself and then light up the pumpkins. I could use candles instead of LED’s to hopefully set some kids on fire and cut my setup time in half. And it will also mean that much less crap in my garage. This is genius and I am pretty confident nobody has ever thought of it before. I better check Google to see if anyone copied my idea before I hit publish….
That is legit all I found. And I don’t mean carve an outline of a tombstone. That is stupid. Might as well write “THIS IS A TOMBSTONE” on top of the thing. Subtlety, people. Subtlety.
On an unrelated note, anyone want to buy a crap ton of Styrofoam grave stones?
Categories: 31 Halloween Activities