This week’s card is “Visit a Senior Citizen” and I think I should give you a pass on this one. It’s getting hot out there and I’m not trying to force you into a stifling old folks home when it is 85 and humid. I mean, I am sure your elders are sweet people but they don’t need you running in there to pat their hands when all they have to keep them cool is one of those old timey fans with a ribbon tied to the front of it.
If you do have some old people to visit, try to lure them out someplace cool. Maybe a hockey game or to the frozen section of the supermarket. Or why don’t you let them move out of the home and live with you in your air conditioned house, ya selfish jerk? Didn’t think of that, did you?
By the way, will one of you call my mom and tell her I sent the money for the AC for her room? When I call, I just get mad listening to her tell me how I don’t call her, so I paid for the AC so I don’t have to feel guilty about her being too hot but I also don’t have to have her live with me. So, if that is an option, you can do that. I probably should have mentioned that before I had you call and ask them to live with you (which I assume you all did as soon as you read it). Sorry about that.
And no, I am not editing it. You should read all the way through before you start something. ESPECIALLY when putting something from Ikea together. I have a bookcase that has the wooden parts of two shelves showing because I put them in backwards and I couldn’t figure out how to take it apart to fix it. And of course I told people I was going to paint them white so they wouldn’t show. That was 2007. I am made of lies.
In conclusion, if you want to put something from Ikea together instead of visiting a sweltering old person in a hot place that smells like powder and Lysol, that’s fine. But read all the directions first.
Categories: 31 Halloween Activities